Saturday, September 5, 2020

Tale of the Screenwriter

There once was an actor named Arthur who was bearly able to pay high rent in Lost Angeles and buy a little rice to feed himself by not acting in commercials.


He insisted he was a real person, not an actor, because actors are not real people.  They only exist in your own mind.


Arthur was so good at being genuine that a talent scout wanted to cast him in a movie.  A real movie!  It was called Chubby Rain.


[SPOILER ALERT] Arthur was being filmed as the double for the star of the film, a famous actor who did not consent to being filmed and suffers a mental breakdown when he realizes he's being followed.

That movie was low budget, but enough of a success to get Arthur noticed.  The sleazy Tim Flick Production Company wanted to cast Arthur in a new flick.


He didn't want to sound like a queer or nothin' but there were certainly asspects about the script that were appearling.  However, it wasn't exactly a script he wanted to make love to.


Fine, fine.  Settle down, settle down.

So a big shot company decided to give 'ol Arthur another chance.  The Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) offered him a role as the star of their series of sequels.

The Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) were not in the film business to create art.  They were strictly business.  Whatever sold the most seats for the least budget was all they ever cared about.  They just wanted wads of cash.  Lots and lots of wads.

They had one series of sequels that had mass appeal with the low-brow crowd that smacked their lips at every new, uninspiring release.  This series were underground, religious horror snuff films, re-using the same script over and over with different actors and crews.  It was one of their best-selling get rich quick schemes.

They knew Arthur was too good-natured to willingly sign on, so the Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) used his naivety to trick him into the role.

At first he did okayyyyy...


The problem was, while he could act, he couldn't be superficial.  The high society setting wasn't for him, and neither was working with such people.  He was too genuine.  Too much "just himself" for such fake fakery.

But there was one actress who seemed to get him, a friend who could also just be real.


While shooting the film, Arthur learned a lot about the film industry, including how the industry turns people into wage slaves to serve a mindless population that needs entertainment to escape the doldrums of wage slavery.

The light bulb went off!  All we had to do was refuse to participate in a corrupt system and then replace it by building something of our dreams instead!

The corrupt system did not like Arthur saying that.


After that, the Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) sank their teeth in.  Arthur had to finish their cheap, mass-market, money-grab, religious horror snuff film.  They made him an offer he couldn't refuse.


Arthur refused.

The Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) was furious!  They gave him one more chance to reconsider, a second offer he couldn't refuse.

Arthur refused.


That's right.  The Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) killed his beloved philly, right there in his bed, the fucking bastards.

But Arthur could not be intimidated, not even by the Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK).

The Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) had Arthur blacklisted by the Hippo Critic Production Society for many years.  He barely got by on spicy ramen during that time.

Years later Arthur decided to try his hand at writing instead of acting, since the Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) blacklisted him through the Hippo Critic Production Society.

He took some classes, juiced his creativity, and opened his mind.  People wondered if he would ever write anything, since for the longest time he just... did nothing.  What they didn't realize was that he was building recipes.

When the stew had simmered long enough, when the storm had come and past, the inspiration struck like a lightning.  He hopped right to it.


Arthur started writing scripts and began making a come back.  Some of his low-budget films were featured in Sundance Film Festival and South-by-Southwest in Austin, Texas.

It wasn't long before fans were flocking to read his scripts.  Some even laughed so hard they fainted.


Well, wouldn’t you know that not all art is for everyone.

Some didn't like how abstract it was.  Some didn't like how avant garde it was.  Some didn't like how provocative it was.

But this was him.  He shared with the world what was inside his mind without reservations and without shame.


Appreciate it or don't.  Art can be consumed or discarded.  It can be stifled by outside forces, but never controlled.

That's the beauty of art.  Mass market works are rejected by few but truly loved by few.  Works of genius are rejected by many but loved by many as well.

.

The Hippo Critic Production Society learned about Arthur's rise and was not happy at all.  They did not like to see anyone they had blacklisted find success without them.  They were that vindictive.

But about this time it started coming out that the Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) and the Hippo Critic Production Society had harassed their actors for years.  They had offered roles for sexual favors or made unwanted sexual advances on actresses.  They used them as if they owned them, and they committed fraud and broke contracts.

Once the news started to leak, it started a catscade, a flood of others willing to come forward to talk about their abuse stories.

A film producer at Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK), who also owned two different vineyards, was the first to be indicted.  The court of public opinion was turning against the Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) and the Hippo Critic Production Society.


So were the Feds.

The Krapt Karat Film Kompany (KKK) and the Hippo Critic Production Society were used to paying off the police and the courts so that they could get away with whatever they wanted, but not this time.  The Feds couldn't be bought, and every attempt only racked up additional bribery charges that were brought against every complicit member of the guilds.

They were all tried and convicted.  They served long sentences and paid restitution to everyone who was victimized.


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