The youngest child of this family did not like his family nor his family's business practices. They were wealthy but not very nice people. They kept trying to groom him to take over the family business, but only if he ran it the way they wanted him to. He wouldn't mind taking over the business, but only if he could do it in such a way that he didn't fuck people over like they did.
So one day the Daft Oil Drilling Company was all set to tear down his friend's house so that they could drill, baby, drill. The child stood in the way of the bulldozers as a human shield.
"What the fuck are you doing?! You're on the wrong side! You're supposed to be on our side!" they exclaimed.
"Um, no. You're assholes. I'm on the side of my friends. I'm on the side of the weak. I'm on the side of the people you screw over so that you can get rich," he replied.
The end.
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:25-27)
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